It's that time of year again, when the snow falls, everything is white and shiny and sparkly and pretty and girly ... Just to remind all of you, it's a bunch of rainbow unicorn doo-doo. The snow? It's not white. As soon as it falls on the ground, it gets trampled by the ruthless monsters that like to call themselves human. They walk on it, kick it, plow it, drive over it, kill it, murder it, burn it and turn it to brown, muddy picture of it's former glory. All in all, people make the snow, once majestic and etheral, look like their lost souls.


As if it's not enough, the fragile snowflake is not familiar with human territory. It does not know of the dangers that dwell on this planet. The little snowflake, let's call it Dope Ass Flake, is newly born into her kingdom, when her king and father of all the motherflucking flakes (he's truly promiscuous, that one) decides he shall send Dope Ass Flake to our relm. He then proceeds on throwing her out of his castle, making sure he gets rid of her sisters and brothers as well, just so he can go and do some more hanky panky with Miss. Cold-As-A-Broomstick-North-Wind. The little snowflake, along with her siblings, has no idea where to go but down, on the cold hard ground.


Now, our world is full of wonders and stuff, but to a little snowflake, it all looks terrifying and ugly. Humans in their layers of clothing look like big, rainbow-y clouds with not much sense of fashion and the cars and buses seem like giant bugs. Or perhaps dragons, yes, Dope Ass Flake knows dragons and these machines that move around on circular components that are intended to rotate on an axial bearing are no match for the dragons from her kingdom. Shops and markets have no meaning in Dope Ass Flake's life, because no respectable snowflake eats ... In the company of others, that is. And every human cub knows that snowflakes prefer their birthday suit over any clothes.


So, you see, lonely dweller, our world is truly terrifying to an outsider. We have wingless dragons, we only whip out our birthday suits when promised some freaky deaky (If you know what I mean. Of course you do, that's why you're here.), we eat in front of people - I mean, somebody could *whispers* see us swallow ... Then, we have internet. It is a highly complex device, which I think we should talk about more next time, since no snowflake has ever seen it. I mean, they melt beforehand. Duh!


Such is the story of Dope Ass Flake, then, that the last thing she sees is a truly ungodly sight of the most pathetic dragon on four wheels she has ever seen. I mean, get it together, Toyota!



Ancestor out!