Tea Time with the Ancestor
Hello my knights and fairies!
Today is the day I stay in bed, for a couple of days ago I caught the monster called Cough&Snot. It is a very widely known company, perhaps you've heard of it? They distribute all kinds of diseases around the globe. Now, this monstrosity of a common cold has left me crippled and insane with boredom. Yes, I can see you've heard of that as well. If, by any chance, you haven't, let me explain to you, what boredom really is.
You wake up at five, but don't understand why would your body clock mess with you. For all those years you've gone to school, and it was always your best friend, helping you be late; but one sign of a cold and it gets viciously evil. Then, not knowing what to do with yourself that early in the day, you start trying different positions of lying in bed, just to see if there is a chance you haven't slept on all the little folds and wrinkles. Alas, you are wrong! Every nook and crany of that ancient sleeping object had been slept on, eaten on, peed on, snotted on and self pleasured on.
Finaly, after the longest two minutes in history, somebody in the house wakes up, willing to make you tea. To make it go faster, try and cough your heart out, perhaps even summoning the devil with the amount of blood and lung that comes out of your mouth. Fear not, if the devil does indeed appear in your room, he can do your bidding and make that damned tea that has taken somebody from your family for EVER to prepare. In return, of course, he shall have to kill the Tea Maker and obsorb their soul... At least they won't have to go to work today. Or ever.
Now, the tea drinking ritual consists of four stages. Firstly, you must carefully sip the hot liquid, showing your delinquent brain, that indeed, the hot porcelain is as boiling as it's content. The second step is furious waving of your left or right hand (depends which is the dominant one) in attempts to cool down the already blistering tongue, and yes, you do spill some of the Mordor's freakish poison right unto your lap. Thirdly, your Forrest Gump of a brain finally registers your urgency to put down the cup and change some underwear.
Afterwards you blissfully lay back in bed, completely forgetting about the tea. Once you do remember it, step four is accomplished. Drink that druid gumbo cold! You heard me right, those are the correct steps to drinking your tea. I know, because I have tried this method many, many times. Perhaps too many...